Its not a Hobby, its a lifestyle.

Hey Kawaii Bears,

So today I decided I shall blog about something my friends give me a lot grief over. My spending habits.
So my bank statement came in for last month recently and I realized I spent a real obscene amount of money on just about nothing really.

I go to this private university so the kids here are to say, a little different from kids at other universities. I mean I heard there used to be foreign royalty here!

I'll just say it, rip it off like a band aid Lisa! Okay, deep breath, I spent almost £2000, not including tuition. You can bet that I gasped in horror to quickly phone my parents, who then calmly told me that it was all okay, but suggested that I calm down with the shopping.

Maybe to you, £2000, is a lot or not that much, but for my first month into uni, my expenses come to £2k in a month, that kinda freaked me out! 

What was I spending it on? Was what I spending that money on really worth it? I can't even remember what I bought besides clothes and a few photo frames! 

As I scanned the letter reading off all the purchase I realised it wasn't the clothes, I had only spent around £400 on clothes, and about £500 on food. 

However looking at this one week in particular I managed to spend £500 pounds separate to all of that from above, in about 5 days. Why is this you question? I had a guest around for a couple of days, so I bought things for my room to make his stay more comfortable, I stocked up my fridge, buying finest this, finest that. But when he came, we then hit tesco/ sainsburies everyday too, which came to about £60 per day, I can't even begin to comprehend what we were buying, because when he left he told me "when you left for lectures, there was literally no food about. I was starving." But when he left I found a ton of food that had to be chucked out! We also dined in a nice fancy restaurant and I footed the bill, which I didn't mind since he was my guest. I guess I don't really mind that I spent that much money on him, because it was only once, I made an occasion of it, and it's not like I'm going to have a repeat of it again this month! 

But that leads us to £1,400, what about the other £600? That was what I took out of the ATM. So nights out, food for dinner if we ate out, and buying fresh flowers.

So here I am, admitting I'm a shopping addict. I go to the shopping mall every week, Zara and Topshop were a constant presence in my bank statement. 

I always manage to go to a coffee shop and/or starbucks at a minimum of once a week, and I seem to be going out to clubs at least 3 times a week. My friends also enjoy going out to dinners, so we'll hit up a nice restaurant.
You know that film, confessions of a shopaholic? Yeah that's my life right there. Enjoy the trailer down below:

But, this way of spending is not necessarily a good way, my parents let me get away with it now with just a slight reprimanding, but when I have a job of my own, just starting out in life, I won't be able to spend as lavishly as I do! Then what will I do? Cry in bed? 

I think if I'm perfectly honest I'd rather starve the rest of the week than give up my shopping sprees. 

So where shall I leave this on? I should say what I'm planning to do, Philip suggests a budget, but neither me or my parents think that will work out! So I guess I'll have to give something up? I know I will minus that £500 next month, but that's still £1,500 in 30 days. A whopping £50 a day, so I guess I'll minimise the food shopping, because most of it goes to waste anyway since I go out to eat a lot. 

But I'm not joking my KAWAII Bears, I have an addiction, I want to look nice and new and always in trend. Zara is a godsend, affordable and Classic. Since losing my parents to university I had to give up the designer labels until I get back home, so to me zara and Topshop, have saved my soul. 

But I guess I don't want to appear like a crazed shopping egotistic freak, so I will try and say why I shop so much. Shopping soothes my soul, whenever I'm sad or angry or even stressed, I go to malls for comfort! For example after I lost Alice, if I ever felt sad about it and told my mum, she would leave whatever she was doing and take me shopping and to get starbucks and we'd chat about it. I'd leave with a new dress or jumper and matching shoes  and few other bits and bobs and I'd feel much better, I had what I was so sad about off my chest and I had had my ego boosted. Again maths mock results back, heartbroken phone call to the parents, and off we went to go look for jewellery and math textbooks. You forget all about heartbreak and boys, 

So I suppose I always found shopping a way to comfort myself, it clears your mind, from crying over a C to "does this look good on me?" 

I suppose this make me sound extremely materialistic, but everyone has a hobby, mine is just a tad more extravagant. 

All them feels

Hey catapillars,

I'm not so great right now... I wanted to do a fun blog post about something cheery and trivial. But I just can't right now.

I'll be honest with you, my chest hurts. It literally aches. I don't know what to do, what to think. Who to talk to and whom I can trust. What I can even write on here as I know my friends read this blog.

You see my fatal flaw is that I trust everyone, and I expect the best in people. I don't see how you can bring yourself to hurt someone, to play with another persons emotions. But when I say I trust them, I mean I trust them with my emotions, not your standard trust to not cheat or bitch about you, but I trust them to keep me happy. That they wouldn't hurt me. That they actually give a shit.

I suppose this is because this is how I view the world, I should try to preserve people's happiness, to make them feel warm and fuzzy. 

But now that's been broken, I feel as if I don't get anything anymore. I feel beyond stupid, like a moron. What's worse is that all my friends warned me, well my journalism friends, but no, I went in head first, blinded by hope and trust. 

But now... What do I know? Who do I know? Everything was just a lie, and I'm the idiot who believed it.

Stupid little Lisa lost in her world of innocence. 

I guess I'm lost in my fear, that they never cared, that I'm really alone and nobody actually gives two fucks. I'm the type to attach myself to love, I want to be loved. 

But what am I trying to say? I don't really know to be honest, I'm just writing what I feel. I guess the only thing that's holding me together right now is Philip, so I suggest you all get yourself a person who actually cares. So I'll end on a nicer note. 

Philip has been my actual support in everything, he deals with all my shit, let's me lose my cool, deals with the tears of joy and sadness. So I guess Philip, thank you for everything, it must be annoying to repeat yourself all the time. You were right, as always.

Lay back and think of England

Hey Rotwielers

So last night after my dinner with my lecturer, I was lying in bed scrolling through facebook on my phone when BOOM! Another person I went to secondary school with just gave birth! 

To a beautiful bouncing boy! 

So I started to think... Who do I know of that had a child during their teen years? 

So I started a list! A list I won't mention but there's 5! 5 young adults who had a baby! 

Some who were supported by their family and the father of the baby stuck by, and she's really happy. 

Some however aren't as lucky... I went to primary and secondary with this one girl, whom I shall call Frankie, she was trouble since young, but a nice enough person. We spoke sometimes, she was adopted, but she hated her adoptive family because they wouldn't let her stay out late and they didn't like how she skipped school and slept around. She was still in contact with her birth mother who was on drugs and in rehab, and she would run away from home to see her mum and party with her! 

Then one day she gets pregnant! The guy whom was supposedly "the love of her life" turns out is the baby daddy of 3 other babies... He started out young. 

He left her as he did the other baby mama's and she cried, and now she tactfully posts instagram posts saying "how she don't need no man." That's great Frankie, please tell me more.

But then I also know this beautiful and sweet soul called Hanna, she was so lovely, and she had a baby at 19, she turned out to be one of the best single mothers, no.. Mothers full stop! She loves her child, she worked at a shop so she could support her child and went into college to learn to be a nanny, so she could earn a living doing that instead so she could spend all the time she could with her own daughter and other children seeing Hanna, made me change my whole perspective of teen pregnancy, before she partied and always came home drunk, but now she's got a career. She's happy and she is stable. She loves her life!

And although to me, a teenager myself, I think teen pregnancy is a rarity, it's actually not so odd anymore with figures such as 3 in 10 teen American girls will get pregnant at least once before age 20. That’s nearly 750,000 teen pregnancies every year. About 25% of teen moms have a 2nd child within 24 months of their first baby. 

So what can I finalise on teen pregnancy? Well I think age doesn't really matter, I mean if you think about it about one hundred years ago, girls of 13 were becoming mothers! But we have supposedly moved on and become superior to those days. And we now have the right to an education, girls can now make a future for themselves. Having a child can stop that for a while, but you can still be a fucking great parent, you can love your child, nurture your child and go out and actually provide for that baby. I believe you know when your ready for a kid, I mean it's a huge responsibility that not everyone can handle! A life solely depending on you. I don't think age matters, but I do believe you have to be willing to give up everything for that baby. To be able to love it more than yourself, more than that idiot who knocked you up. 

If you're a parent and your teen is having a baby, then I suggest you read this:

http://m.kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/teen_pregnancy.html

Or similarly if your a teen and your pregnant and scared, read this:

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/teenager-pregnant.aspx

http://m.yourdailyscoop.com/10-celebs-who-were-teen-parents/

http://www.teenageparents.org.uk

Let it snow! Snowflake tutorial

Hey santa's little helpers!

So after I finished blogging yesterday, I was in quite a festive mood! 

As you may know, I live in Halls, so I'm always trying to make my room more 'homely'. This isn't an easy task, it takes a lot of time and money. 

I changed my bed spread to one more of my own liking instead of the university provided sheets. I have a shit tonne of pillows and cushions, and I've put up kawaii heart shaped fairy lights and I always buy fresh flowers, there are also photos in every corner of my room! Literally this is my notice board:

I bought way too many photo frames, ones that hang, some to sit on my window and some for my desk and bedside table!

But now Christmas is looming, I have decided since my room is a corner room and everyone who passes can look in, I need to make my room extra Christmassy... I will go out later on maybe in December to buy actual decorations, but for now, let's make snowflakes!!!

1. First get your a4 sheet of paper and fold to make a triangle. You should have a rectangle of paper not being used, use scissors to cut it off! 

2. Then you want to fold your triangle, into a small triangle! So just fold in half!

3. Then you want to fold this again, but this time fold a third so like this! 

And then again! But with the remaining side 

4. This is time to get creative!

This is where you design your own snowflakes! I suggest using a pen to draw the design first, don't worry of your first few don't look so great! Just keep going! 

For more tutorials, i would check out these Youtube Videos:

 

Some Blogs also have really good tutorials such as

http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/easy-cheap-winter-craft-paper-snowflakes/

How to Publicly Humiliate Yourself- a tutorial by Lisa Collins

Hey SnowFlakes!

So I'm sitting here on my bed contemplating how this year has gone by way too fast, and somehow my mind had drifted to all the times I've embarrassed myself this past year. And I decided that is what I shall blog about today. 

This is in no particular order, but let's go! 

1. On Friday night, I got utterly drunk at my lecturers house and asked him when he lost his virginity.

2. I said this whilst being half past out lying on my studio editors legs.

3. It took me 40 takes to do a 1 minute introduction to a news report, until they broke down the script.

4. On the plane coming back from Spain this summer, I proceeded to knock straight into an air hostess, knocking over all the drinks she was holding.

5. On that same flight, I then accidentally fell into a mans lap.

6. I got kicked out a club for being drunk. Infront of the guy I liked.

7. On public TV I said "or. Via. Email." On my first ever broadcast. Now whenever anaconda by Nicki Minaj is on my friends torment me.

8. Again in Spain, I made out with this guy one night, the following night, he came over to talk to me... I ran away. Avoided all eye contact and when we were leaving I just shouted "Bye!" And was blanked. 

9. Realising that I was a weirdo for never having kissed with tongue. 

10. Cringing out when I tried to.

11. Accidentally pulling Dan H off his chair in 13.

12. Falling over myself, after laughing so hard at Dan Hon the floor.

13. Not drinking at all during Never have I ever.... No sexual experience revealed to all. 

14. Having Dan Morris carry me home.

The last one is actually a nice memories for me, Dan Morris is my big brother!<3

Chicks before Dicks

Hey Cookie crunch;
So i've been really busy lately with my journalism course, that I completely forgot about blogging! For example yesterday Philip and I volunteered to script and take control of the assignment we were given as a class, everyone managed to go home by 5:30pm GMT, but Philip and I continued until 7:30pm GMT! That may not seem late, but we had been working since the morning, with our lecture and filming etc. we had no time to eat! We then had to run home to then plan ahead for our radio show- which by the way is on tonight LIVE at 5pm on Bucks 101.

So today I have decided I will be blogging about my best friend's previous relationship(I'll re-name her Reese), she was with this guy whom I shall name Roger.
Now this topic I'm about blog about will be quite a serious topic, and I'll say this now, this is how I saw their relationship, how it was presented to me.

So Reese was this beautiful gorgeous girl, she had thick waves of dark hair, a wide open smile that made her eyes crinkle into small little peeps of sunshine. She was vulnerable, very weak, but strong at the same time. She had been through a lot, she had a drug phase that she actually manage to get out of and made her way to getting the 2nd best grade in ALEVEL. But Reese is very easy to manipulate, she changes how she acts, what she does according to who she's with, she gives in to peer pressure.

When i first met Reese, I went up to her after a mathematics introduction, she was wearing a dress I also had at home, and she was super kawaii! I mean in a room full of math nerds, being the only 2 girls in the room I thought "Hey, she looks like my type of friend." We took selfies, I told her all about the girl I hated, and she told me about her past drugged up year. We got on extremely well. We texted throughout summer and when she had her appendix removed, you can guess that I invited myself around her house with flowers. We were now best friends, we went out to eat sushi, to shop and to generally squeal at all the cute things we could find.
It was at this point, when we got back to school that she actually started to talk to Roger, Roger was in our mathematics class. He was a friend of mine, with a big bush of blonde curls and these greeny/grey eyes. He was the nice guy next door, sweet Roger, he wouldn't hurt a fly! We thought they were super good together! They could talk to each other about maths and save me from the boredom of pretending to actually understand whilst my mind slowly melted with confusion. They looked good together, I mean they were both attractive, very slim and small. Everything was great for about a year!

That is until we got into Alevel, both Reese and Roger did amazing at AS level, but for some reason Roger started to slack on his studies whilst Reese became intense with her no lunch regime, just library and her textbooks. Usually she'd go with Luke, but I would go with her occasionally. She started to cry all the time, and I began to worry. 

I would walk into school and she'd be sitting there in the sixth form area, beaming this big smile at me, but her eyes were all red and puffy. She started to tell me everything. Roger only spent time with her when he wanted sex, he damanded sexual favours from her and if she didn't oblige, he just leave. 

He had changed her so much, long gone were her short dresses and band shirts, but now she wore pastle knee length dresses teamed with a pastle cardigan, her hair shorted by a few inches and the general tone of her makeup lightened. 

I remember being with them when she told me she wanted to dye her hair, he went crazy. Roger was all about image. 

Next up we're at this house party in this obscenely quite area but the houses are all far apart so you can't disturb the neighbours! But then you can't walk home either. We had all driven there in our little groups and were planning on splitting a taxi back, that is until total shit went down. Little Hannah and her boyfriend broke up again, and I go running after Hannah who's in floods of tears, except I run past Reese and Roger,  Reese is totally crazy drunk and Roger is shouting at her, for getting so drunk and ruining his image. She wants to go back inside with the others but Roger is demanding to leave. My friend Geoff comes out to look after Hannah with me, but my focus is on Reese crying in the background, I could hear the fear and distress and I wasn't happy. I told Geoff to look after Hannah, I wouldn't be long but Tom just came out to look after Hannah so Geoff came with me, as we near Reese and Roger, they still have no clue that we're so close, I see

Roger shove Reese into a brick wall, she slams into the wall and lands in a heap on the floor. It was horrible to see, to watch your best friend look so

Shattered. She stumbled up, and he grabs her by the arms and drags her home. I had already called my mum to pick up Hannah, so I run up to Reese and Roger and tell them my mum will give them a lift too. I didn't want her to walk back alone with him this livid.

We get to Rogers house, and Reese tells him she doesn't want to stay the night at his, in the car he acts like it's all cool, she goes into his to get her stuff, when he throws the bag with all her things in, straight at her face. She comes back into the car in floods of tears, my mum was not impressed. It was the next day all of us girls were discussing how worried we were for Reese when Hannah told us she'd seen Roger slap Reese's arm in the study area once, and she just flinched like she was used to it.

This is how their relationship continued, he was spending all his time with this girl Fiona, treating Reese like his slut. I was seething in the background, holding Reese up everytime she cried, I was on the phone to her every night, telling her tonight she shouldn't cry over him like she did the last, of course that didn't work but it helped to make her feel better about herself. The teachers even asked me to watch over her and I had to go to quick little meetings about how most of the sixth form students were holding up, our main concern being Reese. When she finally ended things, she came to mine still crying, but everything was going to be okay, I remember my dad awkwardly leaving, and returning with a tub of Häagen Dazs, saying how no guy was worth it, my dad is alright with crying teens. And it was okay, we're still best friends, we went on holiday, she met someone new, now studying in warwick university,she's doing well. Just remember guys,Bros before hoes. 

I will say this, they are both really nice people, they just...I don't even know. You see Roger would help anyone out, you could call him and he would stop what he was doing just to do you a favour. When I lost Alice, he sent me the sweetest text after I had the biggest meltdown in school, telling me how he got that no one got it, cause no one got her. We were really good friends, until my opinion of him changed after seeing Reese cry so much. He knew that she told me everything, so we started to become very wary of each other. I'm sorry Roger, I know you loved her, but it was unhealthy. And I'm glad you're both happier now. I don't want to end this saying you're a bad guy, when I  don't think you are. 

Christmas is near!

Hey Sparklies;

So today I wanted to blog, but I was stuck on what to blog about. I mean last time I blogged about what my best friend taught me, and before that I blogged about making an apple pie. I mean I have no real rhythm to this blog, but you see, that's just how my mind works. Its kind of all over the place, one minute i'm running around chasing Rhys, my studio manager, with a pen in my grip as I try to scribble all over his face, the next I want to talk about a rather serious matter.

But my parents decided to come over this sunday, to take me shopping, and it suddenly dawned on me.... shopping... christmas shopping! 

Christmas is almost upon us, and that means I can go buy a new christmas jumper thats even more appalling than last years, I can almost die every day of the month as everywhere you go is now cinnamon scented (allergic to cinnamon, how unfair is that God?) and finally I can spend an unholy amount of money on gifts for my friends!

If buying lovely things for myself is my favourite past time, I would say buying gifts for others is a close second! 

Yet today I was thinking of my list of people to buy gifts for when I realised my list this year is relatively small! Only 9 people are on my list! Compare this to last year where I was buying for 25, but coming to Uni, I am now socialising with students who don't want to exchange gifts! So Lisa will just get them cute Christmas choc! Philip prewarning, I'm going to fatten you up with all the candy!

My list this year also only includes 4 people from my life before University! 2 of which are my parents! 

In a way this is better, as now I can actually concentrate on what the people on my list actually want. 

For example, Joanna? Something kawaii,  for Adeneh and Zoe, something like a gift set, my father some Port and my mother a new scarf... I always get confused with boys, I know I want to get Shanghai a cute hat in navy, with a bobble, I think with his cutie cheeks he'd look super adorable! Rhys sometimes checks out my blog so I can't say what I'm getting him! But Daniel, what do I get Daniel??? I'm at a loss. Lisa does not know what to do... 

Oh well.

But I'm super excited for Christmas, for the cheesy festive tunes and the feel good movies, Elf will be watch atleast 20 times in once month and finally the food! The food will be glorious 

Alice Lessons

Hey Kittens,

If there's one thing I learnt in secondary school, is that you should always live in the moment.

Tomorrow may never come, and you've wasted your life staring at a text book, when you could have been living the things you should have been learning. 

I'm not saying to not study, I mean I studied a lot, but I knew I couldn't live my life stuck in a world trapped between pages of a math book. I would rather go out in to the world, see people living, commuting to work, falling in love or feeling pain. 

I had a best friend of 12 years, and believe it or not, but I loved her more than I loved myself. I still believe she is my soul sister and that we were meant to be there for one another. 

She died a year ago, she killed herself. But this isn't going to be a sad post about depression, as although it broke me to lose her, I remember all the good things about her, for example the things that last year of her life taught me.

Her name was Alice, she was a beautiful girl with the height of 5'9, something she was very proud of. She excelled in school, in fact she spent about 5 years of her life studying non stop! It was a hassle for me to drag her out to shop with me! Aha, we used to have study dates and I'd end up convincing her bake sugary goods instead! 

But after she came top of our school for GCSE, she had nothing to study for, she realised most of that knowledge was now of no use to her... She didn't know who she was, what she wanted out of life and how to get there.

All that time she spent studying, she could have been living. Meeting people, falling inlove and appreciating the beauty around us. She told me once that she felt as if she didn't deserve happiness, that she thought she was put on this earth to be miserable, that she was the opposite of me. That some people were born to be happy and others were not. I told her, that I didn't believe that, that someone with such a beautiful smile and soul, deserved to be happy. I vowed to protect her. I knew I would do anything for her. 

From that moment on, she spent the whole last two whole years of her life well...living, atleast, she was living it by her own choice.  

Sure some would argue that she lost her way, but at least she found a way to be happy, to find out who she was and what she wanted! She no longer bore the burden of expectation and finally found that your own happiness needed to come first. Of course that didn't last, but atleast I know that she was happy at some point, that she didn't waste her life.

A week after I got the call about Alice, I started to actually think. 

I was so happy, that I was able to spend such a huge chunk of my life with her, that she was with me. That she chose me to be best friends with, she actually chose to stay and befriend the over enthusiastic weirdo that is me. That the time we did spend together actually meant so much to me, I was glad to feel the pain, because that showed how much I loved her. I was living life, I lived with her. I wasn't some drone with no emotion, I connected. 

I can't live in yesterday or that would be the end of me, what I could have done, what I should have said. I can't live in the future or I'll neglect the present, and potentially miss a chance to experience something wonderful. 

If you live and appreciate the day you live in, when you finally get to the other side , I think you'll go in peace, you weren't muling over yesterday, and you didn't miss life in hopes of tomorrow. 

Alice may not be here in present, but she's in my heart. If I lived for the moment, I can experience the world. I make a difference. I can live for her, and when I do make my grand exit in like 10000 years time, I can greet her and say  "hey, look at everything we've accomplished. We did that, together." And I can go, knowing I had a fucking great life. A life where I knew who I was, where I did something with the time I had. That I went with no regrets.

The finest Tart

Hey Cherries!

So today I was with my pals Philip, Zoe and Elysia and we decided to make an apple pie! Whoop whoop!

We used Nutmeg and Ginger so it smelt all festive and shit! How lovely!

So here is a tutorial of how to make it! 

1. First we cut up the apples! 

Cut them finely, thin enough so you can stuff lots of Apple in your pie! Make sure you cut the core out! Don't want you choking on some seeds ^.^ 

2. We then bought "just rol, shortcrust" pastry. And roll that out really thinly! This is so the pastry cooks faster! 

Then place it in a tin, we used a flan tin as we went to Tesco and they didn't have  a tin for pies but they did for flan.

3. Mix the ingredients! Then we used sugar, nutmeg and Ginger and mixed them together!  I used 3 table spoons of sugar and then a load of nutmeg and ginger until it smelled of Christmas spice! If you want you can use cinnamon, that's especially Christmassy! Except I'm allergic to cinnamon! 

4. Place the apples on top of the shortcrust pastry in the tin, in a circular motion, as this will maximise the amount of space for the apples! 

5. Then sprinkle with lots of the sugar mixed with Christmas spices! 

6. Pop the top layer on and smooth it out. 

Then use a fork to put some holes in the pie top, to let the pie breathe and to stop it puffing. Then crimp the edges with a fork to give it a cuter effect and seal the pie lid.

7. Then pop the pie in the oven, at 200•c for 40 minutes 

8. When it's time, take it out the oven, using a cup underneath the tin, to remove the top layer. Let it sit for 10 minutes!!! And then eat ittttttt<3

I wish I lost lbs as fast as I lost Friends

Hey rose petals, so since coming to university I realised my supposedly “bff’s” from my academy and I never speak anymore.

I’ll give you some background, when I joined sixth form I immediately became a part of this group, who I then socialised with basically everyday for the next 2 years of my life. We became friends because, well I’ll be honest here, and we had the same political mindset and social background. It started with the 16 of us; we were I suppose on the higher tier academically in the school, the top 5 students from ALEVEL consisted of 5 members from our group. We were always chosen to be leaders in our subjects, for example, V was head girl, J deputy head boy, JC and I were offered the position of working with Intel for the design team, JL headed Mathematics and offered her own time for younger classes and JF took on the sciences, and would stay back to conduct his own experiments with the teachers.

Everything was great, we got on really well, there were no secrets, everyone trusted one another completely, we went on holiday with each other, knew each other’s family and well we were together every day of the week.

A year later, and that was when things started to change, drastically. A couple, who had started dating after a month into the first term of sixth form, were now on a rocky path, especially as he had invited another all girl group to join our group. I bet you’re thinking “oh wow great, more friends.” No... No, a group of 25, 15 of which are female, means a lot of bitching.... There was quite a bit of intergroup dating, so when new girls come in, it puts the girlfriends on edge, especially when those girls have grabbed the attention of your boyfriend. The group split, 5 boys stayed with us current girls and 5 boys went with the new girls... oddly enough 2 of the boys that went with the new girls were the ones with girlfriends in our group... that caused even more tension.

I’ll end the background here by summing up until this summer, it was so tense you could cut the air with a knife, we went to prom together, and then went on holiday. All the couples had broken up by now, and then we all made promises about how we would all stay friends and text each other at least every week to do checkups. The last day as a full group before we started to break up for University, girls cried, we all exchanged the “I love you” speeches and all that cheese.

Now, I’m almost at the end of my first term at Buckingham, I can firmly say I speak to 1 out of that 25, we all disappeared, vanished from each other’s lives. I mean sure in context it’s sad that I lost all these perfectly good people from my life, but maybe it's not as sad because I know when I go back home in breaks, everything goes back to how it used to be. So we don't keep in contact, but I still love them.

But I will say this, I regret nothing, I did love these people, they gave me so many memories, I was happy, I grew into the person I am because of them. They taught me things, things you couldn't learn in school, things about myself, who I wanted to be. These friends are good people, each and every one of them are flawed, but they strive to be the best they can be, and to me, that is beautiful. They think of the world and how they can improve it, they think of the future, they think of the children in Africa and they actually do something about it. 

Yet I will tell you now, my little flower drops, that don’t go to university expecting to have the same relationship from home remain fully intact. However don’t go in thinking you’re going to lose them all, as my other group of friends and I are still very close, that is true, but we don’t text as much as we use to, and as I said me and JL are still best friends. But know if you want to remain close you need to put in the time and effort to keep that relationship going, or it will just fizzle out, until you’re perfect strangers.

People change in university. Either embrace it, or get over it.

Later moontears x

The Confessions Of A Loser In Love

 Hey Dolls,

So today I’ve decided to blog about my obvious extensive love life. That was a lie, my history is shamefully limited. I've changed all the names for the sake of privacy 
My first boyfriend was Ed, whom I dated for a week  in October, we have now ended our relationship due to differences in character and the fact we will never see each other since I’m in university and he is back home.

I told you I recently went on a date with my best friend here at university, Joe, which inspired me to write this blog post. So I’ll start from the very beginning, from the guy I first liked to the first date and so on.

Okay so the first guy to ask me out was this boy called Liam. It was my first day at secondary school, I was in the lunch line with my best friend at the time (who by the way, has gone totally ratchet goth), when he came up to me and asked me to be his girlfriend! Romance at its finest, I know... Obviously I said no, I didn’t know the guy and he was a year older than me, but it didn’t end there. My girlish gang of friends then decided he would be our next victim in our reign of teasing, he was now known as “mustard top” due to the vibrancy of his canary tones. The next year and a half he faced torment, as bits of sandwich thrown his way, tin foil decorated his locker and my whole year constantly reminded him of my rejection. Where is he now? He is at university in Bournemouth studying God knows what and drinking the finest of Aldi’s wines, a real catch.

Now let’s talk about Harry, he told me he had cancer, skin cancer. I bawled and fawned over him and nearly became his girlfriend... that is until Drew told me this was all a lie, to get me to date him. You can imagine my rage yes?

Next up, my best friend Whom we shall name Evan... I met him during year 8, he was athletic, charming and he always paid me attention. His messy waves of brown curved into his eyes, so he was constantly shaking his hair out from his face. His brother Julian was my big brother figure which I craved for, a bit sciencier and gentler. But back to Evan, I suppose I always knew Evan  liked me, he would ignore others girls and would always be at my beck and call. I apologise sincerely Evan, when looking back I feel as if I wronged you.... especially as I dragged it on for 5 years. Evan and I’s relationship was most confusing; everyone around me said “Lisa, you have to like Evan.” “You’d make such a cute couple” and being as young as I was, wanting to stay in the IT crowd, I believed them. We were always together, he walked me home every day and I was happy being with Evan, there was no reason not to like him. Except that’s just it, I didn’t like him, well at least not romantically; he was so sweet, so available. It was boring. To add to it, I was no way ready to be in any sort of relationship, with my personality there was no way I could be tied down so young!

It was when I was 15 that I went on my first real date, with Evan of course, he had drastically grown over the summer, and I was now at his shoulder, his shoulders broader and his body leaner. He had really gotten into Rugby and all the sports available around him; we went to Camden, not really my scene so we left after 30 minutes and made our way down to Oxford Street. It was nice, we ate and shopped and he was good company, but again really it was just hanging out with your best friend, there was nothing there. I started to back off from Evan when I saw how strong his feelings were for me, it freaked me out. So I started to ignore Evan in favour for a guy now named "Sean", Sean had these huge blue eyes and well again he was a bit of a pushover. We were all in the same group at this stage so it was kind of awkward with Evab gazing over at us. But hey I was no way near ready for Evan’s possessiveness. Nothing much happened with Sean, we acted like a couple for about a year and a half, heavy flirting and skin ship. But I didn’t really want anything to happen; I told him quite regularly that I was in no way looking to change my single status. He ended up being quite needy and I wasn’t feeling that, so who did I run back to?evan.

16 now, talking to both Evan and "Drew", Drew and I would spend ages on the phone together, skyping and texting like mad until he asked me out. And then I went into hiding. Literally I hid from him at school, used Evan as my shield and agreed to be Evan’s prom date... little did I know that becoming someone’s prom date would equal into becoming their girlfriend. So I hid from him too.

That is how I ended GCSE’s... hiding from my problems.

This is going to sound ridiculously sad, but I am now 17, my first real crush. "Ryan", I ridiculously took Maths Statistics for AS Level in sixth form, being led to believe I had a natural talent for mathematics. I will tell you now, teachers lie. I was sat next to Ryan, he was the guy everyone liked, blonde, blue eyes and an easy going smile, he was good looking and didn’t he know it, he was a bit of an arse, he blew off teachers all the time, except they didn’t mind because it was class clown Ryan, he’ll get an A anyway, he took the piss out of girls who weren’t up to his standard, and nobody said a word to him. But he took the time to help me in maths, even though I still never got it “this isn’t like GCSE’s” I whined as I pushed the textbook away “I didn’t even have to revise in GCSE” , he just laughed, eyes crinkling and would push the book forward and start from the beginning. He was a good first crush that lasted all of the first term of sixth form, until I got over it with kpop obsessions! 

Then it was this summer, And that is when I met Henry, rich kid, stuck out, really hot. Tried to have sex with me, I said no and padlocked my tent.  Lisa was not about to get pregnant and die.

I already spoke about Ed, so this is where this blog ends... Dan and Shanghai (not the city) if you are reading this, please fuck off<3 love ya. Btw, D is a spooner, my GBFF will tell you exactly what he thinks of that here: http://philipjosse.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/are-we-gonna-spoon-now.html 

you should also check out his normal blog at http://philipjosse.blogspot.co.uk/

So there you have it, the confessions of a loser in love

Kawaii tutorials part 2

Hey little birds, 

Today we're going to do a tutorial for this simple and super kawaii hairstyle here!

1. First of all, you want your hair to be clean and full of all the products you like in it, such as a volumiser or a soft oil. 

2. You then want to grab a section of your hair from the front, except you want to pick a small section from the top, so you have enough room to do this again a second time

3. Then you'll want to do a simple plait and tie it up with an elastic.

4. Do this again, but on the opposite side. Now connect the two with one hairband, I then like to turn the plait inside out as it will make your hair more loose looking and more volumised.

5. You'll then want to do these two steps again but on a lower front section. 

6. Now bring the hair over your shoulder, make sure you've brushed through it as we're going to do a French plait!

7. Separate your remaining hair into two sections, now grab a small section from the back of your right section and pull it over to the left 

Now from the left section, pull some hair from that side into the right section, keep doing this until you form a nice plait. 

8. I then like to fluff it out, to give it a more casual and simple vibe. 

There you have it! Super easy, super quick!