Hey rose petals, so since coming to university I realised my
supposedly “bff’s” from my academy and I never speak anymore.
I’ll give you some background, when I joined sixth form I
immediately became a part of this group, who I then socialised with basically
everyday for the next 2 years of my life. We became friends because, well I’ll
be honest here, and we had the same political mindset and social background. It
started with the 16 of us; we were I suppose on the higher tier academically in
the school, the top 5 students from ALEVEL consisted of 5 members from our
group. We were always chosen to be leaders in our subjects, for example, V was head girl, J deputy head boy, JC and I were offered the position
of working with Intel for the design team, JL headed Mathematics and offered
her own time for younger classes and JF took on the sciences, and would stay
back to conduct his own experiments with the teachers.
Everything was great, we got on really well, there were no
secrets, everyone trusted one another completely, we went on holiday with each
other, knew each other’s family and well we were together every day of the
week.
A year later, and that was when things started to change, drastically. A couple, who had started dating after a month into the first term of
sixth form, were now on a rocky path, especially as he had invited another all
girl group to join our group. I bet you’re thinking “oh wow great, more
friends.” No... No, a group of 25, 15 of which are female, means a lot of
bitching.... There was quite a bit of intergroup dating, so when
new girls come in, it puts the girlfriends on edge, especially when those girls
have grabbed the attention of your boyfriend. The group split, 5 boys stayed
with us current girls and 5 boys went with the new girls... oddly enough 2 of
the boys that went with the new girls were the ones with girlfriends in our
group... that caused even more tension.
I’ll end the background here by summing up until this
summer, it was so tense you could cut the air with a knife, we went to prom together,
and then went on holiday. All the couples had broken up by now, and then we all
made promises about how we would all stay friends and text each other at least
every week to do checkups. The last day as a full group before we started to
break up for University, girls cried, we all exchanged the “I love you” speeches
and all that cheese.
Now, I’m almost at the end of my first term at Buckingham, I
can firmly say I speak to 1 out of that 25, we all disappeared, vanished from each other’s
lives. I mean sure in context it’s sad that
I lost all these perfectly good people from my life, but maybe it's not as sad because I know when I go back home in breaks, everything goes back to how it used to be. So we don't keep in contact, but I still love them.
But I will say this, I regret nothing, I did love these people, they gave me so many memories, I was happy, I grew into the person I am because of them. They taught me things, things you couldn't learn in school, things about myself, who I wanted to be. These friends are good people, each and every one of them are flawed, but they strive to be the best they can be, and to me, that is beautiful. They think of the world and how they can improve it, they think of the future, they think of the children in Africa and they actually do something about it.
Yet I will tell you now, my little flower drops, that don’t
go to university expecting to have the same relationship from home remain fully
intact. However don’t go in thinking you’re going to lose them all, as my other
group of friends and I are still very close, that is true, but we don’t text as
much as we use to, and as I said me and JL are still best friends. But know
if you want to remain close you need to put in the time and effort to keep that
relationship going, or it will just fizzle out, until you’re perfect strangers.
People change in university. Either embrace it, or get over
it.
Later moontears x
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