Hairway To Heaven

So Sugar's
I realise I've been getting pretty deep recently, what with all that religion talk, and Alice Alarms.
So I decided I would talk about something quite light hearted, Hair!
I've had quite a few hairstyles, my mother and I love hair dye. For me, there's not much that can top going to the hairdressers (Hobs) and sitting in the chair for 3 hours gossiping with your hairdresser.

I suppose for me it all started when I was a child, my parents and I were on vacay in Thailand, we were in Pattiya and my uncles and aunty were joining us later on, my father went to pick them up from the airport and mummy and I had originally planned on going to the beach. But she decided we would get a haircut, she had realised that by the time we would get home in England I would be going back to school the next day, leaving no time for the normal termly do!
She took me in the shiny and polished studio, where Thai women smiled brightly and offered me my favourite drink (Nam Dang) It was there the book caught my eye, small locks of hair in almost every colour you could desire, my mum saw me staring longingly. "Oh no... your father won't be happy with this at all." But I whined and charmed her into letting me get Hi-lights, semi permanent. just for the holiday! My fathers look on his face was priceless. But every since those honey hi-lights were placed ever so gently in my hair. I never looked back.

Of course mummy loved it, joint hair sessions in the salon, hi-lights were a regular thing, that my daddy allowed. 13 now, I was going through my scene little vampire stage, influenced heavily by "Young Dracula" on CBBC, it was a hard time for my parents, their usually girly little princess wearing all black and trying to lighten her skin so it would look as translucent as a vampires, dark kholh lined my eyes sloppily.

Red hair. I wanted Red hair, a quote by P.G Wodehouse said "Red hair. Red hair is very dangerous". I told my mum, the look on her face, but she caved never the less when she saw the rancid self dye I had done to myself. Yeah I went to boots, picked up a packet of live colour dye, and plunged it on my head. It was horrid, mixed with the hi-lights and the dark brown of my natural hair. Mum booked an appointment at Regis immediately. They toned it down, it looked like a reddy brown, mother and I both compromised.

6 months later I didn't like the red, so I dyed my hair brown again, I was still trying to look scene at this point, so my mother slyly suggested we do home jobs for these dyes. I wanted blue hi lights, But they washed out, again more red hi lights, washed out. Purple but yet again it all washed out. I grew frustrated, damn these crazy colours. I stopped bothering. It wasn't until much later my mum when I was back to my girly self, confessed to buying wash out colours to make me believe they were a waste of time.

A year down the line, turning 15, the red from my previous is slightly visible in the ends of my hair from where the colour was originally as hair grows. I was fed up, perhaps it was dip dye before it became fashionable, but I hated it, My mother hated it. But one Christmas, we had our family friends round and we were playing games. I don't know how I got given a gold wig, but as soon as I put it on, my mothers eyes lit up "Blonde would suit you" she says out loud, immediately all the other Thai ladies jump in, throwing compliments. I knew blonde would be the next route for me.

Within a week I was at Regis, Laura my hairdress was constantly being promoted, I told her I was to be blonde, she warned me how long the process would be. What I didn't anticipate was 3 years of dying and bleaching my hair every 3 months. My hair was fucked, really damaged, but I loved it. I loved being blonde. I explored all the blonde spectrum, heck at the very beginning I was so ginger I looked like a part of the Weasley family. It went all the way to the very brightest platinum.
But re-doing roots and touching up the colour every 3 months is extremely expensive. Back when I was fully blonde, I used to spend 5-6 hours at the salon. It would cost my mum a £300 a go! Laura became more and more pro, she moved to , she's now at the top of her game, I believe it was Joan Crawford who said “I think that the most important thing a woman can have- next to talent, of course- is her hairdresser.”. We continued to go to Laura and blonde me up until she said one day  "this is the last time we're going to bleach this hair. You have naturally very strong and thick hair, most hair wouldn't be able to handle this much bleaching. But its time to stop"


I felt a part of my soul crying. It's true when they say blondes have more fun, So I went back to brown, of course with golden hi lights. Everyone loved the change. oh wow the natural look looks great on you. yeah yeah yeah natural smatural. If I liked the natural look I wouldn't have dyed my hair in the first place. I sat mummy down for a talk, I didn't want this hair, theres nothing wrong with it, but it wasn't my style, I like light coloured hair. Something bright. I don't know why, but I love blonde hair. Even in guys, My type is usually blonde! Its the way the sun hits the hair and it looks so angelic. Dark hair made me look pale, blonde hair made me look tanned. She agreed my hair needed more pazazz. We couldnt go back to all blonde, but what would I do?
My father was all tantrum-y, "No No No" I remember him whining "your natural hair colour is lovely, why do you want to keep damaging your hair." I shrugged him, sometimes dads just don't get it.
3 Months later I'm back in the chair with Laura, I tell her my problem, she looks me up and down "theres this trend coming out soon, it's called Ombre, dark to light, how about light brown to blonde for you?"
2-3 years later, I'm still rocking the ombre, In winter I tone it down to different shades of brown, in summer my ends go extremely light. For a while I used to have a toner in of Pink so it was brown to pink, which would eventually wash out into brown to blonde.
I have found my look. But who knows, as I mature and become even more adult like (yikes!) maybe it will change. But for now I have my style. Long hair, don't care, Ombre forever.

Alice Alarms

Hey Sunflowers,

So I haven't blogged in a while, I've been preoccupied emotionally and well it showed in my writing, and my blog is about being happy or kawaii, and well my life I guess. I didn't want to appear as a girl with a million minimal problems, because I realise that there are people out there with worse things to deal with, I'm fortunate enough not to have to worry about debts and loans, I don't cry myself to sleep. To most, my life is pretty easy, I live in a country that tries to be fair and just, I come from two very loving parents and I'm surrounded by people who do care about me.

I suppose that's my big problem, my friends. You see I care very much, if any of my friends are having problems, their problems become my problems. I've told you before, most people use me as a emotional bin, they put their problems onto me and then they feel better. You guys will know that I have no problem with this, if this is the best way I can help them, then that's what I'll do.

Here at Uni I am very close with one girl, for the sake of privacy I'll call her Grace, to most she is this beautiful, cheerful girl who is so lovely to everyone, but realistically she's still that beautiful girl with a warm heart, but she isn't happy. She's faced many issues, that I wont name, but needless to say no one knows just how bad it is. I would worry constantly, always afraid for her well being, she wouldn't really speak to anyone about her problems, it scared me. You might say that it wasn't my problem, that I should just let her get on with it, but I can't, I love her, seriously I adore this girl, she's one of my best friends, how can I leave her to endure all her problems alone.
 After losing Alice I particularly began to worry about any of my friends who showed any signs of depression, my Alice Alarms rang, I began to think it was my job to protect them, just as I tried to protect her. Grace started to appear more and more like Alice and my fears started to increase, enough that I would randomly start crying.
But she slowly started to get better, and I was happy, SHE was happy. Everything was great!
For about two days.
Then my best friend from home broke up with her boyfriend. Do you have any idea how painful it is to stay awake with your best friend, who used to live 15 minutes away from you, but now a whole 45 miles tears you apart, until 5am just listening to her sob, to hear the pain shroud her voice. I cried with her, she's quite vulnerable, she needs love and protection or she'll feel weak and alone. That doesn't mean she is weak, it means she just needs extra TLC. This is the same girl I told you about where she was previously in a toxic relationship that she refused to get out of for a year, even though she would call me every night crying over him. She told me that she started to self harm with a lighter, burning the flesh off her forearms, she was put on anti-depressants 3 weeks prior. Again, Alice alarms start ringing in my mind, This friend has always particularly scared me to be most like Alice. But I have to stay strong, for myself and for her. She's breaking apart and I can't even hug her. I have to entrust her upon people I don't even know, Heck, I don't even know if these people exist. Since she went to university, all I have heard about is her boyfriend. All I can do is call her every night and give her my netflix password.

Most people don't understand why I concern myself with problems that aren't my own. Most people commend me on being a good friend. But personally that's what I believe being a friend entails. To listen to their problems, to love and cherish them, so they know they are wanted, that they are loved.

Even in death Alice still manages to teach me life lessons, the feelings I used to get in my gut that warned me when something was wrong with her have stopped with her last breath, but her image will continue on. She is there helping my friends, through her memory. Our friendship will continue on, in her short existence, caring for her at her lowest states, has taught me what it is to be a good friend, to be a good person. She is completely the reason why I am who I am. Her Alice Alarms ring when I am needed.
I wrote a blog in the past about what Alice taught me about life specifically,you can read it here:  http://lisarayecollins.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/alice-lessons.html

Reacquainting Myself With my Religion.

Hey Chikas,

I know a lot of people who, when feeling particularly lost, turn to religion. It's a sort of comfort, and well I don't really know how I currently feel . I am sort of at a loss. I'm almost done with my first year of university. Here at Bucks, we only do the 2 years, and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with the thought that in one year I'll be searching for a job, 6 years and I'll be getting married, 8 years or so until I'm popping out children! 

I'm beyond freaked out, and I feel like I need to take a step back and evaluate life right now. I'm not ready to give up the safety of my childhood, to say a final goodbye to certain people, to lose that excuse of childhood. 

So here I am, accepting adulthood, completely fearing the outcome. For once I can't predict what will happen, I can't rely on my family and teachers to help me out when times get tough, I'm totally vulnerable, but I know my faith will keep me protected. 

In my last post I explained how I never felt connected to my Thai half, but I always considered myself Christian. When I was a baby, I was blessed into Buddhism, my father who was a Christian agreed that he thought Buddhism was a good religion for me to be born into, for my mother it seemed a natural thing to do as she and her siblings were blessed as babies too. But why did I choose to ignore that path, why am I seeking it now?  I now find myself wondering why, there was nothing wrong with Buddhism, in fact it's an amazing religion, why was I trying to distance myself? Was it my blatant childhood rebelling against myself? The fact I never found myself connected to it? In my childhood, I was constantly surrounded by the "Thai community" and their children with masses of food. But we hardly ever went to the temple, unless it was Thai New Year, even then as I previously said, It was 5 years ago since I last went (not counting this year).

So I decided to research into the religion to see if Buddhism was something I could connect to, or would Christianity the right path for me, here are some of my favourite quotes I found:

"Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free."
- Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberation.

"Learning to let go should be learned before learning to get. Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it."

- Ray Bradbury

"You only lose what you cling on to"
-Gautama Buddha

“Purity or impurity depends on oneself,
No one can purify another.” 
-Gautama Buddha.

“It is not what you can do for your country, but what you can do for all of mankind.” 
― Mike Norton

"You see pictures of Buddha and he’s sitting, reclining, at peace. The Hindus have their twelve-armed elephant god, who also seems so content but not powerless. But leave it to Christians to have a dead and bloody man nailed to a cross.” 

― -Dave Eggers, Your Fathers, Where Are They? And the Prophets, Do They Live Forever?

Thai New Year, Thai-red Lisa

Hey cherry blossoms 

So yesterday was Thai New Year, so for any of you fellow Thai's, happy New Years! I wish you all the happiness and love in the world❤️

My mother and I decided a trip to the temple up Wimbledon would be a good place to celebrate, the last time we went was about 4 years ago, and all I remembered was food, praying, more food and watching my cousin come 2nd in the miss Thai SongKran paegant. I remembered having a good but tiring day. So I decided I would come home for the weekend to celebrate again with my family. 

What I did not anticipate was me being so hungover on the Saturday morning that I woke up at 7:30, and continued to severely vomit until 1pm. Lisa has taken a vow of no alcohol until the end of term- unless there is piña colada being offered.

But back to the festival! 

It was amazing, I was blessed by several monks, there were people of all ethnicities attending, but I felt suddenly a wave of nostalgia being surrounded by all the thai's screaming loudly, welcoming you in to their group when you don't even know them. When you're Thai, there is very much a sense of community, you may have just met someone for the first time, but she is now known as aunty!

To be completely honest with you, I used to be extremely conscious being half Thai, I was embarrassed by the culture, the crude language and loud brass tones. Think what you may, but not all Thais are sweet and elegant in long sarongs and perfect hair. I was brought up in a community where children ran havoc, they got whatever they wanted. The complete opposite of my father, I was stuck in two completely different communities, not really understanding either. The loud over friendly Thai folk, or the reserved distinguished Brits.

 About 50 of us would crowd around in parks and restaurants loudly chatting away not really giving a damn, I remember being so embarrassed when people couldn't understand my mother, "aunts" and "uncles", having to speak on their behalf. Turning red in the face when I heard racist remarks against my kind mother who tried her hardest at english and who never had a cruel thought.

It wasn't until much later, at about 16 did I finally appreciate both cultures and all their messes. Having to give hard stares and telling people where to shove it when I heard a word against my mother. It gave me a thick skin, which I guess will help in my future as a journo.

Yesterday gave me a whole day to fully appreciate the Thai community, people who had met me once gave me such big and kind hugs, chittering away about my sex life and university. I laughed a lot, seeing one particular aunt who I had last seen screaming "tecquila!" Jumping around with all the little Thai kids.

I sat and watched the little kids dance around on stage as people handed them lots of ribbons congratulating them on their confidence. Ooooohinh and ahhhhigng at every small talent. It was beyond cute

It was a beautiful day that made you appreciate being part of a multicultured society, next to me whilst watching the show, was this big German dude, on the way to the temple a Australian guy on his way to meet his friends at the festival, helped my mother and me get on the right bus! 

I love being half Thai, it gives me the best of both worlds, wherever I am I have family, literally. My family is so spread out across the globe. 

On another note, whilst praying to Buddha I realised, I want to rid myself of all the hate that is bottled up in me. I don't hate much but when I do, it's pretty extreme. So I decided why put myself through all this? Isn't it better to love? So this year I will try to better myself in love. When someone pisses me off I will feel it, but I will no longer hold the grudge. It's going to be tough but I believe it's the right thing to do.

Also next year I will be trying to compete in the miss paegant! I'm so excited!

But for now, Enjoy these pictures of my day:

It's The End Of An Era

Now there are many things I could dedicate this blog post to, the end of term, the end of the current me and what not.

But no Lisa decides to dedicate this post to..... GLEE!

Don't stop believing! I am actually writing a blog post on Glee, now this may be embarrassing to admit to, but I realised, I don't give a crap. I like Glee! I like Rachel, actually fuck that, I LOVE Rachel!
I have grown alongside Glee, from secondary school, where Alice and I would discuss the previous episode instead of doing Gym, to morning Cory Montheith's death in the episode "The Quarterback" which weirdly enough aired around the same time of Alice's passing. When the Gleek's left high school and moved into University/College, I shortly followed. Glee has always been supporting my life in a weird way.

I know its cheesy, and we all say that in real life, no one just breaks into song, but in my life we sort of actually do, like not everyday and just to start grooving, but like sometimes in the mac room, we'll all be stressed out and working and then Zoe will put on some tunes and we'll start singing like we're in Lima at Mckinley high! Or sometimes I'll look at Philip and we'll break into a bit of Iggy, or you know you sing how you feel instead of saying it.

But Glee helped me to think of how others must be feeling, how scared and frustrated we can all feel. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives we don't realise others are struggling too, more so than we are. Glee taught me to think how hard it must be to come out to your family, to realise you're pregnant at 16, or to be handicapped. But at the same time, there's all sorts of characters, to represent all cliques, to show us it's not just the unpopular kids who struggle, that there's not just the sad crowd and happy group. We all hurt, we all have our own shit. Sometimes we need to unite and help one another like the kids on glee, remember how Sam had to be a stripper because his family lost all their money? The gleeks got together bought back his guitar and brought him back to school and found him a job! Okay so maybe you don't have a friend in a similar situation, but do you know someone who is in need? How can you make their day just a little bit better?

But most of all Glee taught me to fuck what others think! I am me, I love me, I'm not going to bring others down because they aren't me, yet I'm not going to be put down for being me. I thought of all the things I have said or thought about someone, why did I do those things? Society encourages us to, we have our cliques, if you don't fit in, you're an outcast, it's our duty to mock you and make you feel shit enough until you conform. NO. Glee shows us we can all be painstakingly annoying, but we all have our own unique good traits which makes us, us!

Glee was a harmless show that showed us how cruel society can be, but also how amazing it is at the same time, It perfectly showcases the harsh realities of the modern youth, yet how we overcome them as a united force.


I followed the story of Rachel religiously, saving up episodes just to watch them in bulk, I thought if she could overcome all this shit, I could deal with my own. I suppose I sympathised with her character especially after Finn's death, I felt she was portraying or voicing out the emotions I was so desperately trying to conceal. Watching her move on as I moved on made me feel much less guilty, yet when I still missed Al and had times where I just wanted to cry all over again, I felt relieved when I saw her character expressed that too.
But Glee also helped me to learn and acknowledge signs of weakness, so when I saw them in my friends I could help them before it was too late. Glee was very much a learning curb for me, it was as much of an education as those philosophy lessons we had in school.

I know people mock Glee, and call it cliche, and personally I can't watch the first season (cringes me out to see some of the old characters and their noob mistakes), but Glee was great, I mean it had 6 full seasons! But the original cast were the bomb, the 2nd cast were kinda cringy and boring, and the 3rd cast we didn't have long enough to get to know them, but I liked how we saw that all these people have their own stories, which we got to explore.
I will miss Glee, I'll miss Rachel, but I guess we've learnt all we can from Glee, we've seen the characters go through so much to get where they are, and it ended just perfectly. I seriously recommend watching the last season of Glee, you may not get it if you haven't watched the previous seasons (I think I missed season 4) but there are some serious topics in there that are worth thinking about, and some lighthearted stuff that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
As much as I don't want to say goodbye to Glee, I have to, but it's not really goodbye, its more of a see you later, afterall..... I do have netflix ;P

Thank you for everything Glee, see you in 10 minutes as I watch the whole show from scratch again. 

The Sex Talk

Hey Milkshakes,

So I realised some of my more popular blog posts were on sex/relationships... So I decided to give the topic another go and see where it would lead me.

Lisa is a 19 year old virgin, now for some of you this may be crazy and for some its no big deal.
For the good half of last year I was so freaked out by being an 18 turning 19 year old virgin, but sex and commitment freaked me out even more. I kept questioning myself, is there something wrong with me? Why don't I want to be in a relationship to the extent I actually run away from the boy! In fact, a little inside information, I'm currently doing that right now, running from your problems is a skill I tell you.

 But I think I know what it is now, I see myself as not a girl but not yet a woman, but I'm so happy in this state, that I don't want to leave it. Like an overdue baby ;p
I mean why would I want to commit myself to one guy, have to spend the majority of my time with him and listen to him whined on forever about going bald, and not be as friendly with my other guy friends! My ex used to always complain about the amount of time I spent with other guys, and that just pissed me off. I like being able to be friendly flirtly, to have skinship, I like being able to kiss whoever and not feel bad about it!

My friend Cam wrote in his blog, that in today's society we feel the need to be in a relationship. He's totally right, in my first term of uni and over Christmas break I felt like it was vital to be part of a couple, to be an 'item' with someone. But now I can so clearly say, that I'm happy being me, I don't need some guy to make me complete, i'm not a damsel in distress... Well okay that's a lie, i'm a complete stereotypical damsel in distress, but I don't need some prince to come rescue me, I have my own squad of knights in my friends.

But after that speech on independence and not needing a guy, I have been seeing some guys over the past year, you'll know from my previous blog post The Confessions of a Loser In Love that I have had a sort of past, but literally since about the last couple of months of 2014 and up and continuing now, my love life suddenly bloomed. It's crazy! So maybe I'm not the best person to give that speech.
However if you read my posts you'll know I've seen some guys recently, and 1 or 2 of them were slightly pressuring me into that (sexual)direction, but I knew I wasn't ready then and I think they understood that... or came to understand it. It was still awkward though, but in fact the first guy I did start have thoughts about giving it up to, well i'm so glad I didn't, he turned out to be an immature arsehole who you can't have a serious conversation with, without him singing down the phone to provoke you, or starting fights with your friends. Stick to your guns and pick the right person for you! You don't want to look back with regrets, be like me and look back with relief!


But this term I've come to realize, I shouldn't force myself into things i'm not comfortable with, so what if i'm not ready, one day I will be, that may be in a years time or who knows maybe even tomorrow... You can betcha your ass I'll blog about it though!

 I know soon enough, I'm going to have my cherry popped, but I would rather be comfortable and ready for that time,  and not have the memory be some thing that sends shivers of distress down my spine which most of my friends have. I want it to be with someone I care about, not someone I have half hearted feelings for.

Sorry this isn't very Kawaii, but I suppose I could put a spin on it. Does being 'kawaii' mean we have to stay innocent and pure? Also wtf is this sexual obsession with taking away a girls virginity? Like once you take it, what are you going to do? Ditch her after you've made her fall in love with ya? Not cool. But that's another topic for another day.




Stay kawaii Milkshakes. x

Bring me a Pina Colada!

Good Morning my little Moondrops!

"Treasure, that is what you are! You're my golden star!"

I'm writing this blog post at 10pm, the reason? Well the OTM is hosting a 'Vintage' themed party! This is like a dream come true for Philip, but me and my main girl Zoe are getting super into it too! So we're allowed to dressed from the 60's, 70's and 80's. Zo is going as 80's, the time of Madonna and Grease, where Pineapple was big and crazy hair was everywhere. Neon splashes are a must and leg warmers are a plus.
But I decided to go as the 70's, where the fashion world was becoming much more dangerous, the 60's allowed us to shorten our skirts but the 70's are where the hemlines are really lifted. Now for someone as, shall we be nice and say innocent, as I, I always find it fun to dress the complete opposite of my persona, also due to my height, no matter what length the dress is, I always manage to make it look short. So after some quick google searches I decided BIG CRAZY CURLS, a short black check dress and knee high boots. Photos will be taken drunkenly tonight and uploaded tomorrow, which as your reading this, will be right now!

The clothes were easy enough, but I had no idea what makeup was like in the 70's and if I could get away with wearing a bright blue eyeshadow without looking like a complete mug. I decided against that iconic blue eye shadow  and decided that the heavy winged eyeliner would suffice. Then it was onto the lips, in my research I found no traces of a red lipstick, instead I found soft pinks and peaches, but I decided I would put my own personal touch to the look and use the brightest red I own, which is the LimeCrime Velvetines' Red Velvet. A simply gorgeous stand out matte lipstick which is a definite killer. I did nothing crazy for my complexion, just my simple everyday primer and foundation and contouring, I think contouring was big in the 70's.

All in all, I think my look was good for the night, but rather disappointingly, I had more fun getting ready, than actually at the party. I mean it's always good to see your friends but I didn't pre so I was running on empty fuel and I had no one to top up the tank with! On top of that I knew none of the music, and when I was on the dance floor, literally it was Zoe and I and 3 other people. The new LED dance floor is wicked cool though. But imagine that! You and 4 others, dancing to music that seemed to have no beat, the outcome was embarrassing, my mind was just a mix of "what the fuck do I do? How do I dance to this? Do I look as stupid as that woman?"

Maybe I should have stayed longer, dear Zoe told me the party did pick up its pace, but for me when the clock struck 2am, and the party was still mellow, I just gave up. So I walked back home, feeling at loss with myself, climbed into bed and I was out like a light.

Such a sad Friday night, I did not get down on Friday, Rebecca Black would be ashamed. I can hear her robotic voice now.