So I realised some of my more popular blog posts were on sex/relationships... So I decided to give the topic another go and see where it would lead me.
Lisa is a 19 year old virgin, now for some of you this may be crazy and for some its no big deal.
For the good half of last year I was so freaked out by being an 18 turning 19 year old virgin, but sex and commitment freaked me out even more. I kept questioning myself, is there something wrong with me? Why don't I want to be in a relationship to the extent I actually run away from the boy! In fact, a little inside information, I'm currently doing that right now, running from your problems is a skill I tell you.
But I think I know what it is now, I see myself as not a girl but not yet a woman, but I'm so happy in this state, that I don't want to leave it. Like an overdue baby ;p
I mean why would I want to commit myself to one guy, have to spend the majority of my time with him and listen to him whined on forever about going bald, and not be as friendly with my other guy friends! My ex used to always complain about the amount of time I spent with other guys, and that just pissed me off. I like being able to be friendly flirtly, to have skinship, I like being able to kiss whoever and not feel bad about it!
My friend Cam wrote in his blog, that in today's society we feel the need to be in a relationship. He's totally right, in my first term of uni and over Christmas break I felt like it was vital to be part of a couple, to be an 'item' with someone. But now I can so clearly say, that I'm happy being me, I don't need some guy to make me complete, i'm not a damsel in distress... Well okay that's a lie, i'm a complete stereotypical damsel in distress, but I don't need some prince to come rescue me, I have my own squad of knights in my friends.
But after that speech on independence and not needing a guy, I have been seeing some guys over the past year, you'll know from my previous blog post The Confessions of a Loser In Love that I have had a sort of past, but literally since about the last couple of months of 2014 and up and continuing now, my love life suddenly bloomed. It's crazy! So maybe I'm not the best person to give that speech.
However if you read my posts you'll know I've seen some guys recently, and 1 or 2 of them were slightly pressuring me into that (sexual)direction, but I knew I wasn't ready then and I think they understood that... or came to understand it. It was still awkward though, but in fact the first guy I did start have thoughts about giving it up to, well i'm so glad I didn't, he turned out to be an immature arsehole who you can't have a serious conversation with, without him singing down the phone to provoke you, or starting fights with your friends. Stick to your guns and pick the right person for you! You don't want to look back with regrets, be like me and look back with relief!
But this term I've come to realize, I shouldn't force myself into things i'm not comfortable with, so what if i'm not ready, one day I will be, that may be in a years time or who knows maybe even tomorrow... You can betcha your ass I'll blog about it though!
I know soon enough, I'm going to have my cherry popped, but I would rather be comfortable and ready for that time, and not have the memory be some thing that sends shivers of distress down my spine which most of my friends have. I want it to be with someone I care about, not someone I have half hearted feelings for.
Sorry this isn't very Kawaii, but I suppose I could put a spin on it. Does being 'kawaii' mean we have to stay innocent and pure? Also wtf is this sexual obsession with taking away a girls virginity? Like once you take it, what are you going to do? Ditch her after you've made her fall in love with ya? Not cool. But that's another topic for another day.Stay kawaii Milkshakes. x
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